Sunday, August 20, 2006

I have not become eerily silent

I have been celebrating my birthday. If you mean eerily silent on BT, it was never appropriate for me to participate there in the first place, but I did it anyway, which I should not have.

I do not apologize for my opposition to US policies, or for expressing such opposition, or for anything I have said in any post to any website at any time.

I do apologize for failing to be as selective as I should have regarding which websites I visit.

When I became aware that my presence at the BT site was causing individuals, some troubled, and some common bullies, to mount vicious, replusive, and inexcusably trashy attacks on anybody who had as much as said a kind word or had a couple of paragraphs of civil conversation with me, I realized that the inappropriateness level of the site had surpassed even my over-generous level of forbearance, and I decided to discontinue visiting the site.

Since then, I have only posted once on any of the imperialist blogs, which experience provided me with a tragically bold and revolting underscore of an interesting blogosphere trend I had noted, and confirmed my conviction that my interest in The Situation, and world events in general, including my interest in reading varying opinions about them, does not justify my visiting those sorts of websites.

However, I have had the goodness to add a few more to the META-rant inspiration links section for those with an interest and high hip-boots. Please feel free to add your own "favorites." ;)

I hope no one will take it amiss that I am commenting on a previous thread by beginning a new one, however the comments page there is a bit unwieldy, I was able to load it up once, with difficulty, but my browser insurged before I could even read it all, much less comment.

I suppose I should comment on the comments. Yes, I oppose US policies. Yes, it is World War III.


supersoling said...

Happy Birthday old fella :o)

DuctapeFatwa said...

Thanks supersoling!

It is humbling to be the recipient of so much love from such a remarkable and numerous family, however I still could not resist slipping away to my lair for a bit to visit my beloved internets!

brinn5etc said...

Happy birth day, dtf!

Not sure if she let you know, but spiderleaf sent me an invite that I was unable to make work....any suggestions?

brinn5etc said...

never mind that last question -- I got it work, now I just have to figure out how to post....

brinn5etc said...

drat it all -- I see my handle up there, but still can't figure out how to post.


busy bac sun

Nanette said...

Happy Birthday, Ductape! And I'm surprised anyone would accuse you of being silent, eerily or otherwise.

I hope you had a wonderful time.

Brinn, on that blue strip at the top of the page is a teeny tiny thing that says "blog this". click that and you should be able to post something.

supersoling said...

the way I do it is to click on the Blogger logo at the top left corner of the front page. Then click on the new post icon and the posting field comes up.

catnip said...

Happy Birthday Monsieur Ductape! How old are you now? 152? You geezer you. :)

Head over to my place and have some cheesecake.

brinn5etc said...

Thanks all -- I have it figured out now!

more L8r

James said...

Yo! Happy b-day, dude.

dove said...

Excellent -- hope you're celebrating! Happy birthday

spiderleaf said...

Happy b-day! Here's to many more!

supersoling said...

what do grizzled old terrorists get for gifts on thier birthdays?
And I really want to know if it takes two boxes of Betty Crocker cake mix to make a cake big enough to hold all the candles need to properly enumerate a life as long as yours? ;o)

I know, I know.....Betty Crocker...file not found :o)

NLinStPaul said...

If I may be so bold:

BirthdayFatwa: Have a great one and many more to come!!

Family Man said...

Happy B'day Ductape and many many more.

canberra boy said...

"Happy birthday, Mr Fatwa, Happy Birthday to you..." (I think 'Mr Fatwa' fits the tune better than 'dear Ducttape'!)

Raging Hippie said...

Happiest of birthdays to you!

catnip said...

I forgot. I ordered you some of these guys for your birthday present. ;)

catnip said...

You'' have to find your own Fur Bearing AT-AT though.

DuctapeFatwa said...

The birthday celebrations are as always, delightful. For nearly as long as I can remember now, they have been quite spectacular, I suppose people keep thinking that this one could be my last, which is, I suppose technically true of everybody, but appears to be more keenly manifest in the festivities when the honoree is increasingly and improbably ancient.

Thank you for all the congratulatory emails. I hope you will not mind if I respond here.

Several of you have inquired about presents. As the descendants have increased their number at an even more galloping rate than I have increased my years, in lieu of a veritable sea of curios nearly identical to ones I already possess, ill-fitting and unsightly dressing gowns, foetid cologne waters, hideous laprobes and unspeakable slippers apparently chosen by individuals who have never met me, and the other customary detritus of typical old man gifts, requiring someone to take the time and energy to obtain a large vehicle and drive the load round to a selection of "retirement homes" the next day, the descendants have conspired among themselves and implemented a most interesting plot:

According to lottery, a representative from each generation is chosen to purchase, under the keen supervision of Madame, a gift that neither duplicates anything I have and which also falls into the category of something I might actually consent to have in my presence.

For example, this year, I received a new rug for my lair, very nice, although of modern design and construction. I am getting used to looking at it and do not find it as questionable as I did on first gaze. Although I have never had, or supposed I would have, a machine-made rug before, Madame assures me that I will come to like it, and I believe her, as the only lie she tells is her laughable assertion that that she also has grown old.

Another generation presented me with a very pretty camel bag from a region known for making exceptionally beautiful ones, quite different from any that I have. (and no, none of them are remotely like the souvenir crap sold on eBay as "camel bags.") It is miraculously preserved as if new, though I can attest from several details that it is nearly as old as I am. It has taken its place on the wall of my lair as part of my camel bag filing and organizational system and will be used to hold items that did not have a bag but that I am always looking for, like scissors and batteries, and yes, duct tape. :D

Another gift is a beautiful box, older than me by at least a century, sandalwood, inlaid with mother of pearl in a traditional design, with a velvet pillow lining, which has been specially constructed to hold a number of pairs of spectacles of different unusually generous magnifications, the old fashioned large kind that I like, I do not know how they possibly found either such a box or the glasses, which are, as far as I have been able to determine, no longer even made, the small lens variety being "in style," a style which, like the capri pant, is most beneificial to the manufacturers, as it requires less material.

The youngest generations gave identical gifts to me and Madame: new and very modern cellular telephones that take photographs and video. They can also be used to listen to the radio and do all kinds of other things that it is unlikely that either Madame nor I will discover until they too becomes obsolete and are replaced by new ones. They are so small that we have also been given contraptions with which to attach them to our persons, as otherwise we would both lose them immediately. I will probably be writing an entire rant on mine, of unprecedented verbosity and ramblingness, so be warned.

Everyone else participates in a sub-plot, involving the presentation of anonymous gifts to other people on my behalf. (The "on my behalf" aspect is known only to the descendants.) Again, each generation has its own. The very youngest generations "go in" with the one above them. This year's conspiracy involved making computer equipment and internet access available to several local families who would otherwise not have either, as well as arranging suitable gifts to individuals who are local to other places, and engaged in aiding persons whose lives have been negatively impacted by rich men who want more money.

The Conspiracy gifts are presented to the recipients before the 18th, which is my actual birthday, and at the "family-only" Cake and Gift Presentation portion of the celebration, a representative of each generation, again chosen by lottery, comes forward to present me with a gift, and then whispers in my ear the details of their part of this year's Conspiracy, which I am then able to announce as an event that has already taken place, after reminding all assembled that the gift is to be kept secret from anyone outside the family.

After each generation has thus acquitted itself, all bedlam breaks out and they swarm upon me with little regard for my bones or respiration capability.

It is my favorite part.

catnip said...

I received a new rug for my lair

I thought that said hair! lol

Wow. It sounds like you had a great day. Your descendants are very thoughtful. You must be proud of them.

dove said...

I was wondering if the rug was blue and squishy: could Bud be on his way over to pay a visit?
Congratulations on your descendents, Madame and another year. And consider yourself virtually hugged.

DuctapeFatwa said...

dove, I have squeaked! And consider yourself similarly hugged! The rug is as mentioned, modern, so it is not at all the one yearned for by the noble fur Bud, but I am coming to like it, it does make a nice contrast with the others in the room, which I am told, is the "design" that it is intended be spilled into the lair by its presence.

catnip, I am inexpressibly proud of them. Our family is blessed to have suffered not one divorce, we are thankfully free of domestic violence (with the exception of the under six or so crowd, who like humans under six or so in any family, do tend to engage in a bit of peer to peer domestic violence from time to time, until they learn that it is unacceptable behavior, a lesson they are taught, I am proud to say, without adults resorting to violence to teach it)

None are criminals, none is "in rehab" or in need of it, and to a man (and woman) perhaps the thing that makes me proudest is that every one of them places principle above material gain and not even one despises his fellow man or woman for who they are.

I do not wish to paint them as paragons of virtue. They are humans, and as such, are duly flawed and imperfect beings, which makes them all the more dear to me, as I am also a flawed and imperfect being, so perhaps they have inherited this.

I do enjoy seeing some of them apparently inherit some of my more colorful eccentricities, which horrifies the more staid among them as much as they are horrified by these endearing quirks having endured in their own dear Ancestor ;)

catnip said...

the thing that makes me proudest is that every one of them places principle above material gain and not even one despises his fellow man or woman for who they are.


boran2 said...

Happy birthday, DF!

Janet said...

Happiest of Birthdays Ductape!

I wasn't aware of this blog untill recently when I got an anonymous email about the name of my blog and how I'm a shit stirer. At first I thought it was just more anti-CodePink email, but I think the person knew me. I showed it to my husband and took his advice which was to delete it and not worry about it. To focus on what needs to be done instead.

But I'd like to be clear that I in no way meant to provide more fuel to the fire with the naming MY blog. I thought the name was "fun" and pretty descriptive of ME and a group I love - CodePink. I'm not exactly the church lady, mild-mannered, pacifist language type. Hell, unless it's a candlelight vigil for the fallen... I even try to make peace vigils a little boisterous and fun.

No matter what I do, even with naming a fucking blog... someone is going to find some way to attack. I no longer try to debate what I am trying to do, I just try to focus on doing whatever needs to be done, what I may or may not accomplish, or how I live. All I know at this point is that my family is the family in the Peace Movement. That war is wrong. Killing is wrong. I will not make any apologies for this stance.

At least, lately, the anti-war/peace movement is encompassing so many more from our society that I don't have to rely on just one side - many more are realizing that war is wrong and that THIS war is a complete and utter disaster and waste that should be stopped. That it is a chance for the "mighty military" to stand up.

Liberty is death
Support the troops no matter what is American
Supporting peace is terror

Welcome to a savage land of hate and fear.

Janet said...

Shoot. I should have posted that in another thread. Sorry!

DuctapeFatwa said...

Miss Janet, this thread is fine, and I have been trying to get someone to send me your email address since we started it so I can invite you to be a rantstarter.

Send your email to me at and I will zoom an invitation to you forthwith.

catnip said...

I was going to and then I saw it was already done.