Tell us how you REALLY feel!
Catnip, thank you for always being a good friend to me and for allowing me to be myself... even though I'm not perfect and a fledgling in all this. :)My friend told me about the Dkos diary... she told me not to read it as it's pretyy insane and mean.anyways, I'm going to go do what I've always done... support freedom. This is what I posted in Booman. ----They have spun lies about me. 1. that I demonize the troops. 2. that I've said anything about Tracy's family or husband. 3. That I requested ANYONE to go AWOL or resist or they were war criminals.4, that I attacked a diary about a woman whose brother was killed.5. that my diaries are filled with lies.I posted the quotes from soldiers who had resisted and it turned out those soldiers were retired or dishcarged something I didn't realize at the time. And made it like I was trying to be deceitful.I will go to Ft. Lewis and support the troops and their families so that they can have a voice, an opportunity and come home.I think it's really sad that so many in this community had to undergo so much drama. I think so many wanted me and Tracy to be joined at the hip. The same. We're both wives of military men, we both have disabled children...But we both are very different. We're different in how we handle things, approach things and even in our demeanor. Not better, not worse... just difrerent.I can't possibly protest the war in every way that there is to do so. When you look at the whole picture it becomes overwhelming. Even with CP activities. So I've focused. And I think for me protesting the recruiting stations, supporting the war resistors like Swift, Watada and all the others who have shown up to turn themselves in while at events. Like in Seattle when some arrived.I'm not a mean person, and I'm not one of these people who can even follow this drama stuff. All I know is that I didn't change into some mean, evil troll who arrives to bash and bait anyone.I'm me. I always have been.I left Booman because I knew there was a community here that Tracy needs. I didn't even write a GBCW diary. I simply left. I know she's having a hard time. I know she needed this place far more than I did. She needed the strength from the fabulous people here. But I didn't need the bashing and I have always refused to engage with her because I feel so much pain for her.I do NOT demonize the troops, I do not expect tracy's husband to go aWol...I'm the same person you all knew. When I march or go to events... I'm surrounded by peace activists and anti-war activists and they all are doing things in their own way. DIVERSITY WITHOUT DIVISION. I'm surrounded by veterans of so many wars. One man is even a VFP from WW2. The point is... I'm surrounded.Because it's not about me, or them or anyone else. It's about stopping a war. It's about finding ways to help our soldiers and marines find a way out of this nightmare, a way to support our troops and their families, a way to heal the Iraq families.and for me... this is just one of the way I can do this. To support the war resistors. It's just one of the things me and my family focus on doing.This spring I will be going to a refugee camp in Jordan. I would not ask or expect others to this either.It's just something I must do. Some focus on the environment, some focus on poverty/healthcare... there is so much to do.I wish you all love, peace and the strength to do what you feel is needed to do to help heal this planet.
BTW, where are all those posts from a certain "victim" about they wish horrible things on the troops??? Talk about demonizing the troops.
I'd like to share this photo, it's of me and Supersoling. Maybe you can add it up? I know his heart is heavy these past few days... Many have been hurt and dragged around these past 72 or so hours. http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y193/azulism/b9f8558a.jpg
And I was just banned so... yeah, I echo Janet completely.
I'm going to AGAIN miss people from there... but that's some weird drama shit going on there. For a brief time I thought I oculd return...
heh. Perfect timing, catnip. It's been so long since I've done anything but read the "headlines" over there, that it was odd to comment - followed mariscat's link, though and caught yet another Tracy meltdown. I can't imagine what BooMan is thinking, having her flailing about the site like that, with *no* checks at all, until someone else says something first. But, oh well... not my problem. I feel so sorry for supersoling - she is absolutely vicious to him, especially when he reaches out in friendship or understanding, it seems. And, of course, to Janet and anyone else who dares to work for peace. Sorry you were banned, spiderleaf... I did try tho, when I saw the direction things were going. I really do think it was me, on one of these sites and in one of the many threads before we got mo betta meta.
No worries Nanette, thanks so much for trying. BooMan was just itching to get rid of me though and I, you, diane, ejmw, super, etc. made him look the fool for attacking me with no proof. So he inserted his manliness into the mix.I've asked for my diaries to be deleted and that fucker said no. I have a childhood abuse diary up there that in NO WAY does he own. That sick fuck. I feel like I'm being virtually raped by that Dicktator (as Janet so eloquently put it).
Hi guys!It's been so long since I've done anything but read the "headlines" over there, that it was odd to comment - followed mariscat's link, though and caught yet another Tracy meltdown.That's the path I followed too, starting at Delaware Dem's so-called 'outing' diary at dkos. Cognitive dissonance certainly isn't just a feature of the right-wing. People have screamed over and over that he outed himself yet hundreds refuse to believe it - despite the proof. What the hell is that all about??Catnip, thank you for always being a good friend to me and for allowing me to be myself... even though I'm not perfect and a fledgling in all this. :)Holy crap Janet. Who am I to expect perfection from anyone? You know I love you. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I mean, seriously - just look at what you're doing:This spring I will be going to a refugee camp in Jordan.Wow. You're an inspiration. (((hugs))) Awesome! Just be careful.spidey,Itw as bound to happen sooner or later. I haven't caught up on exactly what happened but I imagine it's pretty predictable. Don't ever forget that you can e-mail me anytime. Besides, it's good for me to get away from the drama on my blog sometimes. ;) (It's been quite the week.) (((hugs)))And (((hugs))) of course for you nanette.
True enough catnip. Bound to happen. Boo took my blog off his blog roll right when Armando banned me at dkos for asking if he was threatening to out me. I wondered if my days were numbered at BooTrib. He can't piss off the boyz at big orange too much now, can he?It's hilarious he's in my thread now claiming he doesn't ban people when he just banned me. What a loser and so transparent.Leezy's doing a good job of keeping it on topic though. Good on her, but utterly hopeless.
So why were you banned? Because you asked if you were banned? I'm missing something here.
Well, according to Martin's response to CookTing in my non-Marisacat diary, it was because I "pissed him off" and "asked to be banned". When actually I asked if he was still planning on banning me based on the fairy tale he constructed, or if he was going to apologize and move on.Cllaaaasssssyyyy.
Ya I'm there now. I see he's still lying about me.Cllaaaaaaasssyyy.How old are these people? 12?
Delaware Dem has deleted his "Goodbye" diary at dkos. I wonder why. What a flipping wanker. The next one he writes should be "Ooops! I Outed Myself Again!".
Hey, Janet and everyone! I decided to check in over here because I've just finished reading another pack of lies and insults from MT and I wanted to register my disapproval of her in a safe place among friends. It's obvious that nothing she says or does will get her banned from BT, so I know that any comment I make over there would be greeted with further histrionics and insults from her and nothing would ever be done about it anyway, so who gives a f about trying to post a comment about it over there anyway?MT is so over the top it is unbelievable. That she hasn't been banned outright over there is a travesty. We were all getting along fine until she poked her ugly little bs into everything again. She has a serious persecution complex coupled with multiple signs of rage-a-holism.The proprietor of that blog has now shown me that since he banned Parker, which I agreed with, btw, he has lost all backbone when it comes to moderating his site. He even allows spambots for teethwhitening and hemorrhoids to post diaries...And yet, because of a personal dispute with spidey he bans her! geez, I thought better of him. I really have given all the benefit of doubt that I can. I don't think I'll totally disappear from over there, myself, but I don't blame anyone who would.Anyways, I truly appreciate you Janet! I also want to know how to find your blog, please.And, lastly, I thought I'd throw out the quote I put up in the Fri news bucket, as it seems VERY appropriate to how certain people fear to actually think about certain things...Men fear thought more than they fear anything else on earth -- more than ruin, more even than death. Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible; thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habits; thought is anarchic and lawless, indifferent to authority, careless of the well-tried wisdom of the ages ... But if thought is to become the possession of many, not the privilege of the few, we must have done with fear. It is fear that holds men back -- fear lest their cherished beliefs should prove delusions, fear lest the institutions by which they live should prove harmful, fear lest they themselves should prove less worthy of respect than they have supposed themselves to be.-Bertrand Russell
Amen to that and good to see you again, blueneck. It's been a while. (((hugs)))You can find Janet's blog here.
I just want to say that I HATE it that one person is being allowed to ruin something that was wonderful enough to allow all of us to come together and meet/support each other. Blueneck, good to see you here and to hear you weighing in. I don't think that I ever told you how much I've appreciated you. You're diary on "Global Exceptionalism" is one of the few I have hotlisted - right alongside Infidelpigs "Two Wolves Within" and Madman's "Dia De Los Muertos."Things are coming apart and the seams over at Booman. Super and Aloha have just announced that they are leaving and Diane says she's close. I know some of you here might not care, and that's fine with me. But its still hard for me to see Martin sit by and let this happen.
I wish I could give you all my support over at BooTrib. You have touched me more than you can ever know. I feel so blessed to have met you all, and being an atheist I don't say that lightly. Blueneck, thank you so much for weighing in here, it means a lot, truly and deeply. Janet as always is an inspiration. She has more courage in her pinky finger than I could hope to have in my entire being.NL, well, you are just one of the finest women I've ever had the pleasure of virtually meeting. Thank you so much for trying to make things better as much as you can.I never wanted this to happen. I believed in the community we built. I wish I could click my heels three times and make it all better, but only Martin can do that now.
Things are coming apart and the seams over at Booman. Super and Aloha have just announced that they are leaving and Diane says she's close.I know some of you here might not care, and that's fine with me. But its still hard for me to see Martin sit by and let this happen.I just read what super and leezy wrote. The problem is that we cared too much about what was happening at and to BT. That was twisted by those who yelled the loudest. As for Martin, he's been through this before and obviously didn't learn the lesson the last time. This will keep happening until he stops allowing it to. It's that simple. When things start to go out of control at my blog, I rein people in quickly. No mercy. I don't need the headaches and my regular readers don't deserve the disruptions and hatred. That's not what my blog's there for. I have my own tiny community and value the people who stop by to honestly participate in productive ways. And I protect them as well. But if any one of them ever stepped out of line, they'd hear about it. I have to post reminders now and then to be nice to each other but the times I've had vitriol at the level that goes on at BT by MT it's been by wingnut trolls and they've been banned immediately. It really is not a difficult decision. They've got millions of other sites to post on.Heck, I've even chastised my landlord for posting ad hominems on my blog. (He's a right-winger). He got the message and we live in the same house! No hard feelings. That's blog life.The bottom line is that everybody's in charge of their own reactions and behaviour and those of us who have blogs have to act like parents sometimes.
Thanks catnip, for the link to Janet's blog, I'll definitely bookmark it!And nlinstpaul, I'm SO honored that you would find anything I've written to be worthy of remembrance, particularly alongside the others you have mentioned... And the feelings between us are mutual. I appreciate everything you do in real life (that I know about :)) and have ALWAYS found what you have to say to be worthy of note.I do care, also. I wish it were not happening the way it is, but that's life for you. It really is a problem caused by one person over there, but the focus has been put on the wrong person or persons. That is the way a rage-a-holic thrives, though, by creating conflict and misdirecting it onto other people and unrelated issues in order to feed their need to be stimulated by conflict-resolution-conflict-resolution cycles. They truly do not feel alive until they have created wastelands of destruction around themselves. I'm unfortunate to have had enough experience with such things to know when they are being perpetrated on me or those around me. I admit it took me quite a few of the 44 years I own to become so clear-headed about it, though...The problem is that rage-a-holism, like alcoholism, needs to be confronted by someone who cares and someone who won't egg the rage on and cheer it, or even tolerate it. Is it any wonder that rage-a-holics sometimes end up in professions where rage is valued and nurtured and that rage-a-holics get involved in relationships with other rage-a-holics? The cycle itself is mistaken for, or substitutes for, love and becomes self-perpetuating.I have a lot of compassion for addicts, but not for their actions when they hurt others. I see myself as a child in a certain diary posted over there, pleading with a family member to stop being angry and upset all the time. It really is very sad. The child is clearly trying to parent the parent, and only time and hard work and introspection and separation will help that child become a functional adult. I know from experience. Children in that type of environment strongly resemble the more formally recognized "Adult Children of Alcoholics" and wrestle with many of the same problems and issues that those people do. The good news is that the child is actually trying, and not giving in to a wacked out situation without questioning it...And spiderleaf, last but not least, because you commented while I was writing this reply to the others, I have appreciated you for weighing in when it counts and I value your perspective and opinions. I've never recognized national borders as being ultimately meaningful in the debates about human rights and I'm glad to know you. Keep your head up. I believe in community, but sometimes communities change, for better or for worse, and it is up to each of us to promote the ideals of community wherever we find ourselves. As our friend Scribe says: ONWARD!
I just got the best news ever. Manny is coming to my neck of the woods!!!!! YES!!!! :) Blueneck, thanks for all those kind words. I can't believe the stuff that was being written about me... the thing is though it also reflects really bad on the people I protest with I felt. To say those things she did and what Booman allowed and even tried to say himself about me... I feel sick. If I may... what I don't understand is how people are missing something right in front of them. IF tracy's daughter did indeed write that diary.... as a Mom... I can't help but see the huge banner of problem right there. How many of us who were dealing with extreme stress of having a parent in Iraq and another one youre so worried about... that the only way you felt you could COMMUNICATE with them was via the internet???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If my daughter felt that was the only way to get through to me... I'd have this fucking computer in the trash and my head back into my family's need. Just saying you know. But that stuff just doesn't jive well with me. Something is serioulsy fubared with that. I so hope her friends can help her. Can't they see she's on the edge? That's why I left tha tplace... because I felt she needed it more than I needed it. IT's been a really stressful time these past few days due to all this. My dear friend called me and told me not to read the Kos diary because people she once respected and read were just eating this shit about me up. I'm a "baiter" and a "troll"... a person who attacks Tracy and her husband. A person who hates the troops... IT's such bullshit. But what hurts is that so many people got hurt. I should never have written in Super's diary. But I think maybe I was hoping... I could return to the community. I don't ever want to go there again except to copy my old diaries. Okay... now to get my head together.
From Booman... For the most part, the core group of people here is pretty tight. There have been some people here the last few days that were very respected parts of this community but that left over one thing or another. They came back and they rehashed an old controversy from last summer.-----------I came back and rehashed an old controversy??? Screw that. I left because Tracy kept hijacking my posts and diaries and Booman allowed it. And he has the gall to call people liars...
/Something is seriously fubared/yup.The way I saw it was that you were kickin your can down the road and she carried her powder keg around chasing you waiting for a spark when your can hit a rock. She got the explosion she wanted. Plain and simple.That you walked away to give up something for her benefit was Nobel(sp!) of you. And not unexpected as far I can tell of your motivations from afar.Good luck and best wishes to you. I will be visiting your blog from time to time to say hello! And I'm glad ManEe is headed your way.. A kinder soul I have not encountered on these webs...
Holy crap. The bullshit over there just never ends. It's a conspiracy. Yes, that's right. We're all out to get him and we have our very own little underground network.I swear to you that even junior high wasn't this fucking ridiculous.So much for that so-called reality-based community.
I see the libel never ceases against me. My martyrdom? I never asked to be banned. I didn't want to be banned. I wanted an apology and for him to stop attacking me and calling me a liar. I also wanted him to rid us of the cancer that infected the site. But I guess that was me.Whatever, I'm going to bed. He can have his community. It's his. I just want my childhood abuse diary deleted. That's all. It's mine, it was a special time when we respected and embraced the members of the community and I felt safe to share. I don't feel that way anymore. I've been "cut off". It makes me ill.
Please don't any of you take this the wrong way but I'd appreciate it if someone who is an admin here could remove me from the contributor list. I tried but I can't do it myself. I'd possibly be interested in creating a new blog somewhere else that isn't under the constant scrutiny of other places and people and put up as front page entertainment when the news from Iraq isn't bloody enough. Someplace that is focused on activism and networking for support.I didn;t even bother to finish reading Martin's reply to my gbcw post because I knew what it would amount to. I knew I was leaving yesterday afternoon when I posted that I wasn't sure if I told Catnip or not. And who the fuck cares anyway? I don't. Someone else told me that it could have been them too. What does that make now, four different people? I won't even go into the other stuff with MT. It isn't worth by breath at this point.You guys know my email. Stay in touch. And I'm pretty free with my cell number too, wink wink
Hey Super. I'm so glad to see you here. I left a comment at your blog because I thought I remembered you saying that you didn't check your email much.A new blog for us all - Kewl! I know everyone has their own, but it gets hard finding a good way to travel around and have a coherent conversation in so many different places. My main concern about what is happening at BT is that I might loose touch with all of you wonderful people. And you are the ones that have helped me keep my sanity over this last year and a half. Let me know if I can help.
super, you was done wrong, undoubtedly.As for BM, I left a lot of things unsaid but did say a few things I thought needed to be said after you and leezy left, super. So did scribe and diane and a few others. But you can only get so far with someone who's hellbent on a mission to destroy an imaginary conspiracy. He got his feelings hurt and then got mad and took it out in the wrong place(s), imo. If I defended my integrity/reputation every time I felt wrongly accused, then double-questioned every about it, I'd have no friends left on the planet, I think, and that may be where he's headed someday. The only thing that's keeping me there at all right now is the shreds and threads of a community that I once really enjoyed. I don't want to lose touch with the few who are still there that I really like and respect, some of who didn't catch the whole story about what just happened.But I like super's idea of a new blog and if ya'll would have me, I'd make it a regular thing. I refused an offer from DTF to join the list here because I wanted to focus on one place, but I'm ready to try something else out now. I think we have more than enough creativity and smarts among us to do something really good. At the very least, it could be a good place to keep in touch and organize. I don't publish my email address, but if anyone wants, I can send you an email and get you my email and cell number that way.
Hey blueneck et al. I think a new community blog is a great idea. CookTing and I could set up a site on Wordpress or something and ensure we have threaded comments, and see if we can tweak the sidebars to show recent comments and posts...I just put up what I needed to. I don't want to prolong the "war" with Martin, but it's pretty hard not to want to defend myself from his continued attacks.Peace.
hey all!! Count me in on anything new -- I haven't been around anywhere much for quite a while before this week -- timing never was my strong point! LOL!Super, my brother, spider, sista, fuck all this -- both of ya'll are waay better than this -- and no, Martin will never delete all of your stuff -- he wouldn't do it for me either (funny how his mind has kinda gone blank on all of the bannings between Parker and now -- guess I never existed) -- I told him that all he had to do was change the properties so that the author's edit function does not become disabled after a certain time period. The author could go back in, delete the content of the diary and leave all of the comments, which seems to be his big issue. He wouldn't even do that. He is a fucking control freak, who likes to exploit other people's efforts for his own ends.Anyway, enough of my ranting -- let me know where you all end up!PS It is Brinn -- I couldn't remember my PW! lol
Military Tracy can go fuck herself.
Just when I thought I was beginning to calm down a bit, I'm realizing that several people have asked Martin to delete their diaries at BT and he has refused to do so. In a comment in the current open thread (I can't figure out how to link here) he explained his actions with Tracy and mentioned that he deleted all her diaries except the ones from Crawford. WTF!!
By coddling Tracy, Martin risks harming his own blogging venture over the long haul. And yeah, the double standards are something else over there. Tried to point that out over a year ago - over one of the other flamefests - and it fell on deaf ears. So it goes.
I'm in a whirlwind today... my dear friend of CP, Linda was arrested and my other friend Cristy of CP got her and the rest released. http://peacegonewild.blogspot.com/ where you can read about the surge brigage... and the 6 grandmas who got arrested. I'm sure Booman and Tracy would attack it relentlessly and if I tried to explain... they'd accuse me of baiting and stirring up an old controversy. They allow Tracy to call us names, hijack our words... it's sad because there are so many good writers there... people doing really good things.
Now something else is bugging me...I'll settle down after awhile. In that open thread, Martin says his email is running 3 to 1 in favor of banning Spider. I have two questions for him then,1. How come anyone who has commented publicly on the site that I have seen (and believe me, I'm trying to keep up with it all) has told him it was a mistake?2. I also wonder what the tally is on those suggesting he ban Tracy? Is he going to take actions based on a majority of those who weigh in?
As far as pt # 2 goes, I sure wouldn't want to bet my life's savings (yup the whole plug nickel) on it. ;-)
Hey NL, I saw that and BooMan's stern response. I added it as an update to my post. Kinda makes the whole community council initiative diane and scribe started seem futile. That makes me sad.
Yeah Spidey. I wanted to keep up the struggle and see if we could make some progress. But I'm about ready to be done. Martin's last response to me pretty much shut down any remaining hope I had in my marvelous abilities (joke, joke) to try and fight for some fairness over there.And Tracy came into that thread on Diane's initiative. I just don't have the energy any more to have to face the possibility of either listening to her self-absorbtion about the "evil military haters out to get her" or walking on eggshells hoping she doens't go off again.
Why walk on eggshells? I wish someone would *actually* bait her (why not, since ya'll have been accused of doing it for months now?) and give her back some of the nastiness that she has been so free to spread around -- damn, wish I could post over there, I'd do it!Martin's doublestandards have never been so crystal.
My issue at this point is more with Martin than it is with Tracy. She's been absolutely hateful to some I really care about, but I know they are strong and will go on. But BT is what I was trying to fight for - and Martin just doesn't get it. I don't want to make any quick pronouncements, but for right now I'm ready to quit trying and look for a new home for us all.
re "walking on eggshells", it's a classic Borderline Personality Disorder survival mechanism that she is displaying. Believe me I know this because i have lived with one for 20 years. And it goes a long way toward explaining martin's apparent willingness to tolerate her bs because she is fragil right now. I also have been caught in this hard place myself and it's tough territory to occupy. They (those afflicted with BPD) will lash out in the most horrific and anti-social ways when their comfort level or their personal safety blanket is threatened, then when everyone is through being shocked and gets over the initial pain of the often brutally personal attacks, the offender will return to what appears as normalality, hence Tracy being in the rules diary and appearing to be reasonably aggreeing with the new rules. Well of coutrse she agrees with the new rules. Her mission has been successful and she has masterfully manipulated Martin and he doesn't even know it. But I guarantee you that he's experiencing an uneasy feeling about it. Thing is, avoiding conflict with anyone like her is only a very short term solution. You'll see as time goes by that she will begin to reassert herself there as a dominant and more visible presence. She is protecting her territory. Bet on it.
hammer, meet head-of-nail. BPD it is. I am also familiar with that diagnosis in an up close and personal way. I'm sorry we have all had to experience the public displays of another one. I almost posted a comment over there in reply to her latest pathetic little martyr ploy, but what the hell is it worth me getting bent out of shape over her. The anonymous "I wish someone would actually bait her" comment above almost convinced me to hit the publish button, but why bother. She really does need help. It's pathetic and sad and what you said about her is too true. Something will eventually blow up again, just like you said...
Of course I could be wrong and it's a little uncool to diagnose people on the internet, especially since I didn't really intend to get into too many comments here knowing full well that it's read over there. Anyway, the behavior sure fits what I've seen all these years. It's sad but I'm losing my capacity for empathy in this particular case, and that's more sad than anything.
It's sad but I'm losing my capacity for empathy in this particular case, and that's more sad than anything.Empathy resides deep within us. It may feel like you've lost your empathy for her but I'd wager that you haven't deep down because you do express concern for her and her well-being./end 'o counselling sessionI reached many levels of frustration when I worked in addictions especially towards those who seemed bound and determined to just keep using even if it killed them but I know that empathy abides even when we've had to wash our hands of a situation and walk away after we've done everything possible.
I think I understand where you're comin from super, and I don't blame you one bit for how you feel, but basically I don't give a whittle if someone over there wants to come and read what I've said. Including diagnoses. The patterns are too clear and simple and are obvious to those of us who have had life experiences where we've had to figure out certain behavioral types in order to survive and thrive.I still have a bit of sympathy for the individual, but give no quarter to the actions of the individual that inflicted harm to you and others. And I apologize to you for not taking a stronger stand quicker when it happened. Part of who I am is that I am slow to react to such weirdness because of my personal needs concerning my own past interactions with that type of thing, up close and personal. I'm not saying it's the healthiest way to react, but it is learned and ingrained deeply within me that 'flight' is the appropriate reaction for me, not 'fight', in those circumstances.
"This spring I will be going to a refugee camp in Jordan. I would not ask or expect others to this either.It's just something I must do. Some focus on the environment, some focus on poverty/healthcare... there is so much to do.I wish you all love, peace and the strength to do what you feel is needed to do to help heal this planet."thank you for this Janet -- all the rest, I'm afraid, is the pus of a wound draining itselfthe body politic of resistance survives
& i almost forgot:onwards!
Thanks Arcturus, yeah... the rest of my stuff was pus... It's sometimes hard to not get bitter and my words have an edge now to them. And yes ONWARD!! :)
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